I try really hard to be an avid blogger. However, my real life seems to suck all of my creative flow right out of me. Since the last time I wrote, I have taken on two different jobs. This last one, I think is a keeper.  This job is half sales associate/half administrative and 100% flexible. Which is really helpful right about now as David has begun his temporary (6-8 week) layoff. That means if we want to put food on the table, I need to take a little part-time gig. To say I’m scared == understatement of the year.

Let’s see — what other goodness do I have to dispense upon the interweb……… hmmm…… oh yes, I ended up in the ER on New Year’s Day. Partially because I’m a little bit hyperchondriac; partially because I had this feeling as if my insides were swollen. A bunch of tests later and come to find that I have IBS. And a .73 centimeter gallstone loving cuddled in my gallbladder. The wall looks good and it’s not inflamed so I didn’t need it out right then and there. However, surgery is scheduled for April 2nd. I put it off as long as I could without putting it off indefinitely and 2.5 months seems like a reasonable enough amount of time to not think about it or worry about. That scares me too. However, having the stone travel and get blocked in my bile duct scares me more. So, lesser of two evils and all that….

In all honesty, this seems like a whole lot of doom and gloom but it’s really not. Life has been really good! We had a wonderful Christmas. David outdid himself with the gift giving and it was nice to be around family again. Since the last time I wrote, my mother and I have started full-fledged speaking again and I take the kids down to visit at least once a week. I am anxiously awaiting our tax return as I plan to get a digital camera — a semi-decent one. One day when I have time, I’d like to upload my Christmas tree cake that I made for Alexa’s school which came out FABULOUS by the way!

For now, I go to watch some stupid Russian movie. Night!

I haven’t written much. Things have been kinda crazy around here what with me being grumpy and unreasonable and it being that time of year that I just love (note sarcasm). Having read some of your blogs, I know that I’m not the only person who hates Christmas. Yet, I also feel bad that other than the nine hundred kids that David and I have together, no one will really be getting presents this year.

On top of this, I will be starting a new job tomorrow night. I’ll be making the same salary working retail as an assistant manager as I did working in a bank. Handling people’s investments. Having to remember “regulatory standards” and kissing ass just to get a promotion. Only, I didn’t get a promotion. I went slightly insane, lost sight of my priorities and gained 20 lbs during my employment. Thanks for nothing, fuckers!

But I’m over that. I’m getting less angry about the whole thing. I’m holding tight to the reality that I love my husband and my kids. I’m a lucky girl.

I’m scared about working. It’s in the mall and I’ll be getting out late at night. I’m afraid of being mugged, raped, killed, etc. Yes, I do have a tendency to take things to the extreme.

On that note, I’m in need of a shower and to feed my babies some breakfast. I’m alive, kids. More to come, I promise…

It seems as if life has a predestined plan mapped out for me, WHETHER I LIKE IT  OR NOT, BITCH! I have been doing the part-time working bullshit for a little over a month now. To say that it’s just not working out is the understatement of the year. My dad has to drive for two hours round-trip to pick Lex up from school. He does so three times a week. Last week, I missed two of days of work due to my car. (My baby princess only needed a new battery, but when she shimmies and shakes and you have to say a prayer to St. Christopher to get the bitch started, and then sometimes she still doesn’t start, and you work almost an hour away, you have to weigh all the pros and cons and make the best decision possible.) This week, I missed Tuesday for Luke’s surgery. Feeling that it was not fair to continue on in a job where I was constantly needing time off,  I resigned. I am now officially a SAHM again. YIPPEE!

Luke’s “surgery” wasn’t a surgery so much as it was just re-breaking the child’s arm to knock it into place. The bones were reverting back to the break position. We have an amazing orthopedic surgeon who I trust with my life and he said that he wanted to take Luke to the OR to reposition it. And he wanted to do it in less than 24 hours. What is a mom to do but say, “okay”? I mean, let the extremely experienced ortho do what he feels is best or fight for your child’s chance to walk around like Gumbi. I think I’ll go for the former. We won’t know if it was successful or not for a few more weeks.  Here’s hoping!

Despite the fact that things seem to be getting better with my parents, we were not invited to Thanksgiving. This is getting ridiculous. It’s been almost two years people. I’m sorry for any pain I caused. Get over it now — you’re just looking crazy. However, I have a lovely turkey breast and a whole menu planned for tomorrow. And I’ll be spending the day with the three people who I love most in the world, so there are worse fates. Still…. it hurts.

On that note, I’m off to get my patient his breakfast served with a side of Tylenol with Codeine.

Okay, regarding my secrets, I will tell you. The one secret is that I was interviewed for an Assistant Manager position at my company. Given that the manager encouraged me to post, I was not expecting the interview to shake down the way that it did. The only positive that was mentioned was that the interviewer was impressed by my post. She said that it showed “a lot of thought”. The rest of the hour was spent talking me out of the reasons why I am not a good candidate for the position. I am the top producer bankwide. I work extra hours whenever needed and attend promotional events with no pay. And I’m not good enough? No, the company that I work for is not good enough for me. I have made the decision to make a drastic career change and return to education. It’s not just for the lack of appreciation or the lack of respect or the lack of monetary compensation, it’s for a multitude of reasons. My job stress has been festering and festering like a cancer. I go to work miserable and I return home doubly so.  Soon, they will implement a six day work week. I feel as if I’m missing out on everything good in life now; add an extra day and I may as well hang myself. So no, not for me. I have already sent my resume out to a few prospects. We shall see…

This past week was eventful, if nothing else. Lex was sent  home from school on Tuesday. One trip to the doctor, one antibiotic and a mini-vacation, and she’s feeling almost back to normal. That evening, I went to the ER for gallbladder pain. I have a follow-up appointment in the morning. Hurray!

I’m not in a very happy place. Can you tell?