Funk….

I’m in a bit of a funk today and not sure why. I went out with a friend last night for a fantastic dinner and a movie. It was much needed and even more so; was some of the most fun I’ve had in a while. I guess I’m getting all sentimental about the move and know that now we’ll have so much less space in the apartment vs. the townhome that we are currently in. What I won’t miss though is the pricetag of such a townhome.  We’ll be in a second floor apartment too; so I’m a little concerned about the dog and walking the dog and the dog’s transition into a new environment. Ugh. I’m a chronic worrier and bet that I could give <a href=”http://www.suburbanbliss.net”>Melissa</a> a run for her money. Or least, we’d have lots to talk about what with the myriad of topics which we could worry about.

It’s 6:41am and I have a cake cooling on the stove. What’s wrong with this picture?

Ugh. God, I’m going to miss this kitchen. It’s so spacious and bright. It’s probably been the first place that I’ve considered a “home” in a really long time. Why does everything have to be so expensive? *whine*

Well, I’m off for another fun-filled day at work. Catch ya….:)

On the road again…

Okay, so guess what we’re doing? We’re moving! Again, you say. Yes, quite simply we cannot live without unneccessary amounts of stress added into our lives. Not really, we’re moving because we’ll be saving $240 a month in rent and with Dave’s job moving to East Bumblefuck, PA and we’re forced to shell out ludicrous amounts of money in tolls and gas. We’re staying within the complex, just moving to a smaller apartment. We’re excited. Lots of closet space. Cheaper rent. Fantastic looking space. A little small, but it means we can continue with our lifestyle, sans bankrupcy.

Anyhoo….

How about that Obama basically telling the auto industry to shape up or ship out? Rock on, Barama! I never thought I’d live to see the day when lobbyists didn’t run the White House. It’s quite cool, actually. It restores ones faith in humanity.

I need an eyebrow wax something fierce. Life is good. Or getting there.

Just call me “Church Lady”…

So, when did I become the old, devout Catholic lady with my moo-moo and knee highs on? Apparently, I have strange opinions about the sanctity of marriage and responsibility and am incredibly judgemental about others who are a little more free with those notions.

For the record, even when my husband is a dick, I like being married to him. I like waking up to just him day in and day out. I like our quiet, little life together. Recently, we’ve been going out more and staying out later and I can say that I’ve never been less happy. I want my quiet, little life sanctioned by the Pope back!

And yet, I don’t want to deprive the man of things that he wants to do. Being married is hard sometimes. Ugh!

Booger snots.

No one tells you when you sign up for your ride on the Mom Train that mixed in with all that bonding and the afterglow of delivering the devil’s spawn is a heaping helping of green, gooey nose custard on a fairly regular basis. This is made worse when your kid is allergic to EVERYTHING and gets monthly ear and sinus infections. I often find myself completely covered in snot and drool and even after nearly seven years in; it never gets less disgusting or appealing.  Let’s not even talk about vomit or poopies.

In less contagious news…

I finally got myself an iPod Nano. LOVE IT — three snaps in a circle! I’ve had a blast filling it with all of my favorite songs and it’s brought back a crapload (the metric form of shitload) of high school and college memories. I’ve filled it with Sonic Youth, Pavement, Violent Femmes and DropKick Murphy’s just to name a few. Love it, love it, love it!

So, anyhoo… time to get back to the sick kid. Mommy stayed out way too late last night getting the new Twilight DVD (SPECIAL EDITION BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!) and I’m ready for a nappie myself. Goo goo. Nini.

I officially hate old people.

Well, it’s true. I have had my fair share of septagenarians for one lifetime, thanks bunches. My place of employment is offering a really good rate for CD’s and it seems that every grumpy, old and ignorant arthritic asshole has come to visit in the past week. Old people, not that you’re going to be on the internet because, ya know, you’re old, but listen up anyway:

DIE!

Harsh? Spend a week working with me and then tell me what’s harsh. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have met some truly wonderful people this week. It’s the memory of the truly mental that stand out though. Like the one who said that she hoped that we all died and then condemned us to hell.  No, I’m not joking.

There’s so much more that I could shed some light on, but I’m afraid I have to get ready to go work. YAY!

More fun than you can shake a dead cat at…

So, in the last few months, we have acquired a small shelters worth of animals. Now that the kids are older, we need something to coddle and snuggle with cause Lord knows unless our names are “Leapster” or “Hot Wheels” the spawn don’t want anything to do with us.

In August, we acquired Ben — the tiny, black cat who was thrown out of a window on a major roadway in Delaware. He’s a bit of a bitch, so Dave and I thought we’d get him a playmate.

Come September, we acquired Elizabeth, a gigantic mound of grey long-haired fur with much to say and a lot of furry love to give.

About a month ago, we took a ride to the country and acquired the crazy mofo puppy, Gracie Mae. She’s part boxer/part bulldog and 100% insane. She’s a really wonderful dog, despite ya know, the potty training accidents and the cries for attention. But other than that nomal stuff that all puppies need to work through, she’s truly a good dog.

The slew of pets have added so much love to our home that despite the fact that the child/pet to grown-up ratio is now majorly disproprotionate, that neither of us would trade them in for anything. Except, life had other plans. On Tuesday morning, Elizabeth passed away suddenly. We’re not sure why or how. Late Sunday night, she staggered into the kitchen. On Monday, she sat around wanting to eat and drink. I tried to feed her water through a syringe, but she just puked it up. On Tuesday morning, she lay dead on the living room floor by one of the heating vents. She was truly wonderful and will be missed by us all.

So, if you would all raise your glasses to the sweetest little furbag on earth, I would appreciate it.

Goodbye, Elizabeth!

And so it goes…

Life has been spinning past at an amazing pace that before I know it; it’s 5 months after my last post.  Being a working mom will do that to you, though I often feel as if something is missing when I don’t check in and spill my guts out for all the world to see.

So, instead of posting some majorly intricate post on what’s happened since the last post, I will tell you some of the highlights:

• We survived Christmas, mostly unscathed. In addition to a bunch of fantastic gifts, we were given a stomach virus which held on tight just long enough to ruin any plans for a fun New Year’s Eve. By New Year’s Day, everyone was feeling well enough that my bff and I were able to go out and see Twilight.
• David and I both purchased some new laptops, which I’m hoping will aid in more blogging. However…
• We also bought a puppy which is proving to be not entirely unlike having a baby, what with the early morning feedings and constant need to make sure she is dry and happy. Her name is Gracie Mae and she’s gorgeous! Pictures to follow.
• Alexa is a superstar in school. Her handwriting has transformed from something that looked like Sandscrit to something that resembles a first grader. Her grades are amazing and she’s seen drastic improvements in almost all areas from Quarter 1 to Quarter 2. She’s amazing!
• I lost my tax refund. Really. Well, a portion of it and now I’m in the whole search and recovery mode. Sucks cause I was going to do this week’s food shop with it. There has been a whole lot of ramen andwater going on over here.
• Saturday is Valentine’s Day. The kids have a birthday party and then I’m not sure what David and I are going to do. I’m hoping some nice family member offers to watch the kids and the puppy so that David and I can out to dinner.

And that’s about all. I’m hoping that with the aid of a nice, new laptop that I can get more writing accomplished. If not, it was nice seeing you again. See you in another six months!

Oh for the love of Barbara….

Hi friends,

It’s November which means “hell month” in my house. Last year, other than getting married, Luke broke his arm and David sprained his ankle within days of each other. This year, our tub drain gave out leaving a nasty wet stain on the living room ceiling and we are pretty much broke. Thank you George W. for fucking up something else.

To backtrack, David and I did have a fantastic anniversary, despite the aforementioned drama. It’s times like these that make me feel 100% happy with my decision to rent. It’s a wonderful feeling to call the maintenance staff and ask that they fix the issue and have a big ‘NOT MY PROBLEM’ attitude. They are even going to come back in a week or so and fix the mess that is now the living room ceiling. And, barring any unforeseen disasters, we will be caught up financially by the end of December. It’s just going to be a very thrifty Christmas.

Speaking of George W. (see above), the election is finally over. I am really happy for Barack Obama and feel that he will be a good president. Now, please, let’s shut up about it and get to the real meat and potatoes of the issue: Stimulus Package. The American people (namely moi) need some financial aid to help boost the economy. So bring it!

I am now on day four of a five day vacation. It went way too fast! I like my job and all for the most part, but I also like watching TV and relaxing and sleeping in. Today, I am completely childless as Luke is off with my units and Alexa has school all day. I was able to sleep in one day out of the break and may be able to sneak in a nap this afternoon. I really, really, really want to go to the bookstore, grab a nice pumpkin spice coffee and a fresh copy of Twilight and do fuck all for the rest of the day. But, I will clean and do laundry instead.  Tomorrow, I am going to the flea market and then off to the fabric store with my friend Heather.  Then, before you know it, it’s back to work time! Ugh!

At present, I am making homemade cream of chicken rice soup. Delectable! It’s cold as hell and this is a nice throw it in the crockpot and sit in front of the TV and watch your soaps kinda creation. Which honestly, are the best kind of creations.

Until next time….

A Cure For the Economic Crisis..

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past month, you have heard about the economic crisis that is unfolding on Wall Street and in the lives of many “Joe Six-Packs” throughout the country. I have a solution for these trying times that does not  involve a government corporate bail out. Do you wanna hear what it is?

It’s a simple idea in nature and far more ethical than making “Joe Six-Pack” pay for the resurrection of Corporate America. Are you ready for it? Here goes: Every CEO involved in the bail out should put back the millions of dollars in bonuses that they received throughout their tenure and return it to their company. Afterall, bonuses should be given on merit. If your company fails, you, as a CEO, are not doing your job properly; therefore, no reward should be given. Children are taught early in life about gold stars for good behavior or for an excellent mark on a test. Employees everywhere are given annual reviews evaluating their performance and value to the company.  If they do not perform in a manner which is beneficial to their corporation, they are terminated or at best, given a stern warning.  Increases in salary are not given. Yet, if you are a CEO and you run your company into the ground, you are given a check for your effort. This somehow seems ridiculous and wrong.  Moreover, it’s despicable that hardworking, do-gooder “Joe Six-Pack” will be laid off by his Fortune 500 Company while his CEO, his tour guide on the road to corporate success, will sit high and mighty with his big, fat paycheck or at a minimum, his big, fat severance check.

Today, it was reported that a man in California killed his family and then himself because he was laid off seven months ago and could no longer afford to live. If this is not a testament to the average person’s struggles, I’m not sure what is. A government bail out is not the answer. Humbleness and righteousness is. Give back the fucking money, you Evil Pig Emperor! Let “Joe Six-Pack” keep their job that they can work for the next 67 years; thanks to the evaporation of Social Security funding. You bitch!

Things that you must do…

If you do nothing else this week, you must rent Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Not only is this movie perhaps the funniest thing I’ve seen all year; you get to see a plethora of cock in the beginning. And when, oh when, is the male penis exploited in all it’s floppy glory? Titties, a gogo. But penis? Never. I fully support this trend. More cock. Less filler. Thank you.

I have wanted a nice, cold Miller Lite for the past 24 hours. If only I had the cash. And a babysitter.

Work went fast and wasn’t horrible today which is always good for a Monday. Bring on Friday!

David is thinking of starting a blog. If he does, you all must read him. He’s funny as fuck!

That’s all the drivel I can muster for one day. Back to your regularly scheduled programs.